"The sharp knife of a short life

I've had just enough time..."


- "If I Die Young" The Band Perry


I see Beauty in many things. And like the ghosts that only speak to you if you notice them, they tell me wondrous tales. With my camera and my thoughts, I captured these as faithfully as I can to share with you. And by doing so, they gave me the reasons. And though the thousand reasons may not all be sweet and some indeed bitter; they are still reasons to live. Come to think about it, that is Life, isn't it?
Showing posts with label melancholy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label melancholy. Show all posts

Sunday, 1 December 2013

A Walk On A Rainy Autumn Day - Part I


I've had just enough time to...   have that walk on a rainy autumn day

The view from the farmhouse I stayed in that cold autumn morning


The wind was colder than I remembered. They always were, weren’t they? It is our memories that betrayed us. They convinced us that the wind was kinder than their nature, the rain gentle and we were comfortable in our walk. But I shivered with every gush. It bit my ears and stuck its icy finger into the side of my ribs and the umbrella I was holding trembled like the quivering leaf. I remembered. I hated the cold. It remembered me too and taunted me its icy embrace, laughing at my discomfort and challenged me to give up the walk and seek the warmth of shelter.


Some trees are bare, some still hold on to their leaves with grim determination

 I had strayed away from the others, falling behind. My frozen fingers gripped hard on the metal casing of my camera, shooting with one hand while the other shielded my body from the relentless rain. I know the pictures will not turn out well in this low light but I had only half an hour and I wanted to cover as much ground as I could before I had to return to the bakery. There were cakes waiting to be baked. And I did not have an extra day to wander this ground. I wanted to be back to this beautiful part but I know how ways lead on to ways and I may never find myself back here again. So I just took what Life has to offer and stepped over useless regrets in my walk through the wood on that rainy autumn morning in the land of the Danes.


The rain created little ripples on the surface of the calm water

The cold bothered me. But I welcome it as one would a familiar old enemy who brought your keenest senses to life. No, not an enemy but an adversary. A worthy one. It was as determined to push me back as I was as determined to push forward. Time was not in my favour. Some trees were completely bare by then but some still held on to their depleting leaves with admirable determination. I was told I was lucky to even see leaves this late in the year. But I was also told I was unlucky as just a week ago, this park was a glorious blaze of colours. But can one be lucky and unlucky at the same time? I guess so. I took a deep breath and was rewarded with the nostalgic smell of wet leaves, damp earth and the crispness of autumn air. It reminded me why I loved autumn so much even though I hated the cold.


A lone bird puffed up its feathers to withstand the cold

As I walked, and observed, and shot; I let my mind wandered. Giving it free rein to gallop wherever it pleased. As expected, it preferred the more melancholic pasture and my thoughts merged with the rain till it became as blur as the fine mist over the pool of water along my path. The walk in the rain that autumn morning was so familiar to how I imagined it will be that it seemed so unreal…



The hardy ones but even they too shall pass

When you're walking from your past

You can never walk too fast
Everyone's the same
When you're walking in the autumn rain

Walking in the autumn rain-     
-  Day One: Autumn Rain


More rain and wind and gray skies are forecasted

 It doesn't matter where you're from
'Cause wherever you are from

You got a long walk on
You got a long walk on

The past scattered like fallen leaves and refection on a pool of water




Saturday, 16 November 2013

Autumn in My Garden - Visiting Autumn


I've had just enough time...  to reacquaint myself with autumn


I love autumn so much I planted autumn in my garden...

Memories hanging
Like the last leaf of autumn
Reluctant to fall


So I can be moody even when the sun is shining brightly...

After the last leaves -
Silhouettes of trees lined hills
Desolate beauties


Because sometimes, one just want to be melancholy...

I love autumn or I love the romantic fantasized idea of my imagined autumn. Melancholy, bittersweet, beautiful whether in glorious colors or gray outlines of desolated trees. I imagined sweet loneliness, long walks in snapping cold, chilly winds that cuts and reminded me to preserve this fragile body, time to go deep into reflection, to visit the boundary of depression and know that dark country, to slow time down and view the false promises of progress, ambition and speed; a time to gather, recharge and wait for the hibernation of winter and the rebirth in Spring. Maybe the actual autumn is none of these. Maybe it is just my illusion having never lived through an entire autumn though I have visited autumn in several countries over a long span of time. Maybe those living in autumn countries will laugh at my ridiculous notions. Maybe they are living too close to autumn. Whatever, I love my idea of autumn. So much so that I planted autumn in my garden so it can lead me there even under the tropical sun. And as fate would arrange, I'm going to reacquaint myself with autumn - tonight.



I am traveling again, flying off tonight. This time to Billund in Denmark and then off to Parma and Milan in Italy until the end of the month. So this is the last post until then. See you when I get back...

Saturday, 29 June 2013

The Sound Of Falling Leaves


I've had just enough time to...   listen to the sound of falling leaves...


Taken one chilly morning in the backstreet of The Rock, Sdyney


Leaves fall
The speed of tears
Smash the ground
Silently splash
Quivering echoes
Through silent streets
The Giant cries
Tears as many as leaves
Catching the mournful wind
Through skeletal branches
Till no more leaf is left to shed
Then deadly silence
Winter is here to stay




Sometimes you are sad. You may not be able to point out a single incident or even a number of incidents that are making you sad. They may have some effects but you know they should not make you as sad as you are. You are just sad. Stop looking for the reasons. Indulged in it for a while. A sad movie, a sad story or a sentimental song. Or a chat with an old friend, a long walk in the park, an evening by the sea. Do whatever works for you. Sadness prepare us for happier times. Just don't lay on It for too long. It may get so comfortable that you would not want to get up again.



Leaves Falling - Sound of Silence by Regon Kuo





Saturday, 22 June 2013

叶子 - Leaves


I've had just enough time to...   be thankful for leaves

Taken in the garden village of Sungei Buloh, Malaysia


I was in the town of Sungei Buloh (River of Bamboo) shopping for orchids before the Chinese New Year. In those old less enlightened days, this place was used to isolate a leper colony from the general populace. A vocation was needed for these displaced people and in an ironic way, growing flowers and plants was the profession chosen for them. Now it is a thriving town engaged predominantly in the gardening business. The city has expanded and engulfed the area making it a very valuable real estate. Now, those once shunted lepers and their descendants are not only businessmen and women but also millionaires putting a final irony to the Town of The River of Bamboo.

Everyone was looking down because there were flowers in glorious bloom everywhere. On both sides of the small lane, on every multiple racks, in every stall and corners, any space that can be squeezed in, flowers of all varieties and colors and forms smiled back at you. But my attention was up, at that wondrous spread of rain tree branches and the millions of tiny leaves blinking at me. Whenever the wind stirred, a few shook themselves from the branches and floated down in an erratic but graceful dance to join the other fallen leaves on the roof. 




I love flowers but it was the leaves that talked to me that day.  And leaves always reminded me of that sad song  叶子yèzi (Leaf ). I heard that haunting voice as I stood by the road shoulder looking up feeling deliciously sad while boisterous trading were happening all round me. And what made it even more poignant is that I will never hear her singing a new song again. '阿桑' (Ah Sang) had a hard life. She was discovered singing in a pub and “Leaf” made her famous. Just when it appeared that Life is finally giving her the break she deserved, she quietly left the entertainment scene. Not long later, the world was shocked to learn that she has succumbed to breast cancer. She was only 34.


叶子                                                                         Leaves
阿桑                                   Ah Sang

叶子 是不会翔的翅膀                   Leaves are wings that cannot fly
翅膀是落在天上的叶子                    Wings are leaves dropped in the sky
天堂 原来应该不是妄想                  Heaven is not wishful thinking after all
只是我早已经遗                           It's just I've forgotten long ago
当初怎么开始                           How it is then, I could fly

是一个人的狂                      Loneliness is the reverly of the lonely
是一群人的孤                       Reverly is the loneliness of the crowd
原来的开始是陪伴                 Love has its beginning in togetherness
但我也渐渐                           But I've gradually forgotten
是怎有人陪伴                       How it is I had you for company

我一个人吃旅行                           Now I eat and travel alone
走走停停                                  Wandering aimlessly
也一个人看写信                           I read and write alone
自己对话谈                                  With myself, conversing
只是心又到了哪里                       But where is my heart floating to?
自己看也看不清                       I can't see clearly
我想我不仅仅是失去你                  Just feel it is not only you I lost






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